Oil of OPEC+?

Startling news came out of COP29, the United Nation’s annual climate conference in Baku, Azerbaijan. There was no major breakthrough in climate change efforts. The world continues to heat up at an alarming rate.

No, reports that locals bathe in crude oil in Naftalan, Azerbaijan, has skincare enthusiasts scratching their heads and scraping the brown, sticky stuff off their bodies.

“The resin is a bit toxic,” Ayten Magerramova told The New York Times. “But for skin problems, the resin really helps.”

His advice should be taken with a grain of salt. After all, as “head doctor” at Garabag, a Naftalan resort, Magerromova has skin in the game.

Still, COP29 isn’t the birthplace of crude oil-as-skincare. Black gold has a rich history in the region. Marco Polo traveled through Azerbaijan in the 13^th Century. In his 1298 travelogue, he described its oil as a salve for men and camels “affected with itch or scab.”

Azerbaijan is known as the “Land of Fire” because of its many natural gas reserves and the fires that sometimes leak to the surface. Polo wrote about mysterious fires and oil bubbling to the surface near the Georgian border, including a spring that produced enough oil to load a hundred ships. 

More recently, former Soviet Union researchers maintained the unusual molecular makeup of some hydrocarbons in Naftalan oil make it suitable for treating arthritis, infertility, eczema and more.

Despite its long history, don’t expect crude oil to show up on department store shelves any time soon.